Hello, this is Mach Pizza
by ShadoWraith
Summary: Someone (Ness?) tries to get a few pizzas for his friends. Includes frustration, anger and annoyingly ever-so-polite voices. PG for VERY LITTLE bad language.


The Quest for Pizza  
  
  
  
"So, you hungry?"  
  
"Oh yeah. All I had to eat today was a croissant and a ketchup packet."  
  
"Yeah, me too. A bag of fries isn't sustaining enough for lunch."  
  
"I'm hungry, too. I haven't eaten since breakfast."  
  
"Yeah, well, I could make steak! Everyone loves steak!"  
  
"Yeah, you everyone."  
  
"C'mon let's order pizza!"  
  
"Yeah, pizza!"  
  
"Are you sure? I'm really hungry for steak…"  
  
"You're ALWAYS hungry for steak."  
  
"Yeah, for once let's eat something WE want to eat!"  
  
"Um, okay. What kind of pizzas should we get?"  
  
"A large pepperoni, a large cheese and a medium sausage."  
  
"I second it."  
  
"I third it."  
  
"You guys really plan this out, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah, well, if you wouldn't take so long choosing a movie we wouldn't have time to plan this, would we?"  
  
"Shut up. Who's ordering?  
  
"You."  
  
"I don't want them."  
  
"You'll eat them, besides, it's your house."  
  
"Well, okay then."  
  
…  
  
"Hi this is Mach pizza, can I take your order?"  
  
"Yeah, I'd like a large pepperoni, a large cheese and a medium sausage pizza, please."  
  
"Okay, 2 large and one medium pizza, anything else?"  
  
"Wait, don't I get to choose what toppings I get on them?"  
  
"Not really, sir, they will all recover the same amount of HP"  
  
"What? HP? I just want a few pizzas!"  
  
"Yes, sir! You'll get them, the finest pizzas in town!"  
  
"The ONLY pizzas in town."  
  
"At least they're not the worst, sir. They'll be ready in about 5 minutes."  
  
"Wait, don't you need my address so you can deliver them?"  
  
"No, we'll find you someplace. Thank you for choosing Mach Pizza!"  
  
"But I…"  
  
"Bye!"  
  
*click.  
  
"Okay…"  
  
"So, what pizzas are we getting?"  
  
"I'm not sure…"  
  
"What? What do you mean?"  
  
"They said I couldn't decide."  
  
"You didn't have to decide! We all voted on a large pepperoni, a large cheese, and a medium sausage! All you had to do was order it!"  
  
"I did, but…"  
  
"But what? All you had to do was…"  
  
*rrrrring!  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hello, sir! We'd like to deliver your pizzas, but we can't find you anywhere."  
  
"Well, if you'd ask where my house was…"  
  
"None of that, please, sir. We'd like you to wait outside so our deliveryman can find you."  
  
"But it's freezing outside!"  
  
"Yes, and think of that poor, old, less than minimum wage income deliveryman who is going to freeze out there!"  
  
"Look, just come to my house and deliver them there."  
  
"We don't know where your house is sir, now please do us a favor and step outside so we can find you within the next few minutes. Otherwise you pizza's will get cold and we'll have to make entirely new ones."  
  
"I'll tell you where it is, it's at…"  
  
"Goodbye, sir!"  
  
*click  
  
"Um, guys, I'm going to step outside for a minute."  
  
"This doesn't have anything to do with the pizza, does it?"  
  
"Uuuh, no. I just need some fresh air."  
  
"Sure, don't freeze to death."  
  
"grumble grumble grumble…"  
  
*SLAM!  
  
"Geez, it's freezing out here!"  
  
"Hello, sir! I have your pizzas here; Gosh it's nippy, ain't it!  
  
"Yeah it is. How much do I owe you?"  
  
"Oh wait, these pizzas have gone all cold! Hang on, I'll run back and pick up some warm ones!"  
  
"Wait! Just give them to me, I'll warm them up in the microwave!"  
  
"Oh, no sir. That wouldn't give these Mach Pizza's the ultimate in taste, texture and toasted goodness! Only specially made Mach Pizza brand pizza ovens can do that!"  
  
"I… don't… care! Give!"  
  
"I'll be back in a jiff, sir!"  
  
*SLAM!  
  
"The heck with this! I'm going to go get the pizza's myself!"  
  
"Okay, don't be gone too long."  
  
"I won't, it's cold out there!"  
  
"No, we're starving!"  
  
*SLAM!  
  
"Lessee, Mach pizza… probably that new place next to the hospital…"  
  
…  
  
"Hi, this is Mach Pizza!"  
  
"Hi, I ordered a pizza, so can I get it?"  
  
"Sorry, sir, delivery only!"  
  
"No carry out?"  
  
"No carry out. The deliveryman is probably looking for you right now."  
  
"Look, that guys a bozo! Can I just get some pizza here and take it home?"  
  
"Sorry, sir, delivery only!"  
  
"But I…"  
  
"Sorry, sir, delivery only!"  
  
*SLAM!  
  
"Did the pizza come?"  
  
"Yeah, the delivery guy came."  
  
"Good. I'm starving."  
  
"Oh, he didn't stay. He said the order was for you, but not for anyone else."  
  
"What? I just ordered the pizza because we're here at my house and you told me too! You're going to eat the pizza too, right?"  
  
"Yeah, well, he said you were the one that ordered. He said he's waiting for you at the Mach Pizza store."  
  
"Oh for the love of…"  
  
*SLAM!  
  
…  
  
"Hi this is Mach Pizza!"  
  
"Hi, I'm here to get a few pizzas. The delivery guy said to come here."  
  
"I'm sorry, all our delivery men have gone home for the night. You can call again and get one of the other delivery men on the night shift."  
  
"What!? I'm not ordering another pizza! I'm sick of this! I'm sick of this stupid business! I'm sick of you and you're annoyingly polite yet ever- so-frustrating voice! For the love of God, woman!"  
  
SLAM!  
  
…  
  
SLAM!  
  
"Hey, where's the pizza?"  
  
"grumble grumble grumble…"  
  
"Uh, pizza?"  
  
"grumble grumble grumble…"  
  
"Anyone home? What's for dinner?"  
  
"We're having steak, dammit! Steak!" 


End file.
